Newbury sculptor’s whimsical Murgatroyd's Magnificent Multi-Server to debut at prestigious guild of craftsmen’s Crafts Alive

We want you to start the week with a smile on your face…

Our favourite local sculptor of wild invention Nigel Williams has again been invited by the Gloucestershire Guild of Craftsmen to exhibit at their biennial Crafts Alive exhibition at Rodmarton Manor in Gloucestershire in September.

“I previously promised a six-place china tea service,” says Nigel. “Well, here it is, with a new device in the middle which (predictably) can do the work of six servants all at once.

“It's called Murgatroyd's Magnificent Multi-Server.”

“This piece and the previously-documented Theophilus H. Wright Cobweb Scavenger will get their first outings there, along with two more new ones, if I can get them made in time, which are currently well-advanced in the design stages,” Nigel tells @newburytoday from his studio between Newbury and Hungerford.

“This device will put the fear of Beelzebub into your servants! If you were ever of a mind to want to serve six people with tea at the same time, this machine will serve tea six times faster than any single servant, because it does them all at the same time!

“In fact, even if you're never likely to have a need to serve six cups of tea all at once, it's worth acquiring one of these and just subtly placing it on the sideboard, just to make your servants aware at all times that they need to work faster in order to avoid being replaced by a machine…

“In order to keep the entire household happy, there is a slightly larger spout at one end for the cup dedicated to the head of household, and another small one for when you're attempting to wean younger members of the family onto the delights of drinking tea.”

The idea has been in Nigel’s head for more than a decade. “A teapot with multiple spouts pointing in all directions could seem like a splendid way of speeding up your tea-serving - but it's so completely absurd and utterly unusable that I just had to make one!

“The lengthy delay in realising it - apart from the usual prevarication - can be attributed mostly to two issues:

Manufacturing traditional one-piece copper tea-kettle spouts was a highly-skilled job, often involving molten lead, and one for which I have neither the skills, tools or courage.

Sourcing a whole bunch of identical antique copper kettles simply to cannibalise them for their spouts always seemed like a very difficult and expensive exercise, not to mention the sacrilege of destroying valuable antiques....

“However, I reached a point where the idea had been bothering me for so many years that I simply decided to stop prevaricating and get on with it.

“To help the process, I accepted that I might have to compromise on the methods that had been employed to make the spouts, i.e. by perhaps sourcing slightly more modern components. The spouts I used are in fact all seamed top and bottom, and not one piece at all (shhh! Don't tell anybody!) - but they have been made so well that you just wouldn't notice if I hadn't told you.”

“I set about some determined research to locate a bunch of mostly identical kettles, beat up enough to avoid shouts of "sacrilege", but not so far gone that they were unrestorable. I already had a couple in my store-room, and the rest came from all over the country.”

The patent?

“I think I may have just invented the hot-drinks vending machine.... wonder if you can apply for a retrospective Patent...?”

Also on display will be the Laboratoire Barmier Daintification Assistant and the now very much topical again Trumpfentopper Self-generating Toupée Machine.

Last word to Nigel: “When I first displayed the 'Trumpfentopper' at Rodmarton two years ago, visitors were asking me ‘why isn't he in jail yet?’ - and where are we now???? Good grief.”

Read more about Murgatroyd at https://www.orlogikstudio.com/060-2503scuMurgatroyd.shtml

Exhibition info here: https://guildcrafts.org.uk/pages/crafts-alive

Enjoy the Murgatroyd. And Nigel… never change!