Depp's magic is missing

Mortdecai (15)
Running time 1hr 48mins
Rating: ***
Opening to some pretty bad reviews, Mortdecai is at least offering something different to the rest of the year’s early releases. Everybody’s favourite Keith Richards-inspired pirate, Johnny Depp, takes on the role of roguish aristocratic art dealer Charlie Mortdecai – a man with an £8m tax bill to pay. When a renowned art restorer is killed and a priceless Goya goes missing, Mortdecai takes it upon himself to get to the bottom of the mystery, with a plan to recover the painting and solve his money woes; the artwork is also said to contain a code leading to a stash of Nazi gold.
Entirely unpretentious, Mortdecai is what it is. An antidote to the self-aggrandising, above-its-station stuff that’s currently being foisted on cinemagoers (Ex Machina, Kingsman, The Gambler), Mortdecai is almost kind of refreshing. Almost. Depp, as the film’s main character, is jarring. Watching him employ a contrived Jack Sparrow approach is intermittently painful, excruciating and upsetting, if very occasionally funny. The Pirates of the Caribbean magic is most definitely missing, and his delivery seems amateur.
Why this Pink Panther-style farce got made is puzzling. Based on a novel by Kyril Bonfiglioli and directed by David Koepp, Mortdecai brings a central relationship between Depp’s posh British art dealer and his down-and-dirty manservant, Jock (Paul Bettany), to the fore; they’re a sort of low-rent Inspector Clouseau and Cato. Mixing in Austin Powers-style innuendo, the whole affair is dated and bizarre. Once a great British acting hope, Bettany spectacularly falls from grace with this supporting grunt role, while Depp’s pratfalling turn becomes increasingly tiresome. With Ewan McGregor’s MI5 chief grating, the film’s highlights are few and far between.Going a bit Royal Tenenbaums, Gwyneth Paltrow stands out as Mortdecai’s loyal, wily, gutsy wife – and a small role for Jeff Goldblum satisfies.With wonderful locations – London is breathtakingly showcased – Mortdecai isn’t without its redeeming features; it also hurtles along at a relatively speedy pace.