Father told to remove candle from son's grave
Man has been visiting cemetery for eight years but Thatcham Town Council says lanterns are banned
A GRIEVING father who has lit a candle beside his child's grave for the past eight years has been told that the memorial must be removed on health and safety grounds.
The man, who has not been named, has been visiting his son's grave every three days, travelling from Bracknell where he now lives, to light the lantern.
However, it only came to the notice of the grounds maintenance manager of the London Road cemetery just recently that his actions went against Thatcham Town Council's policy on what is allowed as a memorial at the site.
In a letter to the council pleading for sympathy, the man asked for some understanding in the matter.
He said: “Although I agree that you have policies, rules and regulations, I'm finding it very difficult to understand why the lantern poses a health and safety issue.
“I've been lighting the candle for my son for eight years there and have never once had a problem and now I'm feeling very distressed to learn that I'm no longer allowed to.”
The candle, which is in a glass case, is held in place by a hook in the ground.
The council's policy states that no items should be secured to the grass at the cemetery to allow maintenance works to take place and that unsupervised lit candles were banned.
Council officers had suggested a number of alternatives to him, such as using solar or battery operated lights.
The man, whose son died aged 12, rejected the ideas, saying that he felt more comforted by lighting a candle.
At a recreation and amenities meeting on Monday, some councillors spoke of their sympathy for the man.
Gary Johnson (Lib Dem, Thatcham West) said: “My heart is for this guy. If you have lost a son, it must be unbearable.”
Town and district councillor, Dominic Boeck (Con, Thatcham South and Crookham) said: “It seems to me we need to be very subjective.”
He suggested that a risk assessment of the candle memorial should be taken.
However, town councillor Owen Jeffery (Lib Dem, Thatcham South and Crookham) insisted that the policy must be adhered to in every case.
He said: “I don't think it is appropriate that we should be running a cemetery on the basis that people should be making up their own rules.”
He was backed by town and district councillor Sheila Ellison (Con, Thatcham North), who said: “If you let somebody have a small flame, then the next person wants a bigger flame.
“If we allow one, can we allow another?”
It was agreed that the father should be asked to remove the memorial.
