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Stuff happens!... man messes himself when police officers sit on him

But Stuart Nicholls' dirty protest backfires as he is left to sit in it for 16 hours

John Garvey

John Garvey


01635 886628


A MAN who smeared faeces round a police cell claimed he had soiled himself accidentally when police officers sat on him.

But 39-year-old Stuart Nicholls’ subsequent ‘dirty protest’ backfired when they left him to sit in his own mess for 16 hours, Reading magistrates heard on Wednesday, March 8.

Elaine Kale, prosecuting, said police eventually paid a contractor £150 to clean up the cell.

Mr Nicholls admitted causing criminal damage to cell number three at Newbury Police Station on February 21.

He denied a further charge of harassing Lesley Nicholls at Turnfields, Thatcham, thereby breaching the terms of a non-molestation order, on the same date.

Ms Kale offered no evidence on the harassment charge and magistrates formally dismissed it.

Steve Molloy, defending, said his client had not deliberately soiled himself.

He explained that, during a struggle following his arrest on the alleged harassment matter, police officers sat on his back.

Mr Molloy added: “He had a full bowel and the pressure of four police officers on his back caused him to involuntarily mess himself.

“He was very embarrassed and asked for material to clean it up.

“When these were not provided, he took it out on the cell.”

He went on: “Unfortunately for Mr Nicholls, he was then left for 16 hours in the cell which was covered in his own excrement.

“So it could be argued he has already been punished by his own actions.

“He was left in his own mess, as it were.

“When he was arrested it was a weekend and he spent a total of three days in custody.”

Mr Molloy said Mr Nicholls, who currently lives in Foundry Close, Melksham, Wiltshire, grew up in Thatcham, still has family and friends in the town, and visited regularly.

He added: “He realises he has some anger management issues.

“He would be happy to pay the bill for cleaning the cell.”

Mr Nicholls was fined £350 and ordered to pay Thames Valley Police £150 in compensation.

In addition, he was ordered to pay £85 costs plus a statutory victim services surcharge of £35.

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Article comments

  • sayitasitis

    22/03/2017 - 12:12

    He'd probably of been more at home in one of the police dog cages, but hey, everyone now knows him as "that bloke who shat himself"