Newbury man who took his own life in childhood bedroom was told by NHS to watch Joe Wicks videos
A Newbury man who took his own life was told by talking therapies to watch Joe Wicks videos and keep a diary when seeking mental health help.
Darragh Conor Spelman – aged 26 – took his own life in the bedroom of his childhood home in Newbury, where he had been living, on August 27.
The London School of Economics student, who was due to begin his masters just weeks after his death was described as a “talented and intelligent young man” by his devastated family during an inquest at Reading Town Hall on Friday, June 30.
Mr Spelman died two days after he was discharged from primary health care, his mother Carmel Owens told the inquest.
Assistant Berkshire coroner Ian Wade KC told the inquest that Mr Spelman had issues with alcohol and drug use and that beer and cider bottles were found in his bedroom after his death, along with a poster on his wall titled ‘days without alcohol’ tally chart.
His GP, at Strawberry Hill surgery in Newbury, Graham Howard Stiff said Mr Spelman sought help to find out if he had bipolar disorder– a mental health condition that ran in his family.
He told the inquest that Mr Spelman was given advice and pointed towards drug and alcohol services that could help him.
He said GP services do not have time to adequately look after patients with alcohol issues and that an alcohol service was the right place to send him.
He added that he gave Mr Spelman an antidepressant.
Around a week before his death, Mr Spelman woke his father up at night sobbing and expressing a desire to be free of the torture of his mind, the inquest heard.
The family are now asking questions about the quality of care Mr Spelman received and why he was never seen face-face by a mental health professional.
They said the “stigmatisation of alcohol use was a barrier to Mr Spelman receiving the appropriate care”.
His mother also said there was a “lack of urgency” regarding the risk of serious self–harm and “downplaying of the significance” of her son’s suffering.
She also raised concerns about the “complete lack of communication between service providers” – particularly within mental health services, which she said allowed Mr Spelman to “slip through the cracks”.
“You never met him” she told the present NHS staff at Reading Coroner’s Court.
“You are basing this all off someone you have never met.”
But, West Berkshire NHS Trust mental health nurse Eve Tsappie who undertook a review into Mr Spelman’s care, following his death, said face to face contact would not have changed the outcome.
She told the coroner that the NHS follows a structured approach to assessing and talking to patients.
“You have to ask direct questions and look at what they are telling you now, in that moment,” she said.
“You can’t control or predict what people are going to do but assess the information you have got at the moment.
“Something could happen as soon as you put the phone down or you leave their house.”
Mr Wade told the inquest that the care received did not play a role in the death of Mr Spelman and this was an act that was his decision.
The inquest also heard that Mr Spelman left notes in his bedroom for his loved ones telling his brother Alex that he was his “favourite person in the world and made [him] laugh more than anyone”.
He told his mother and father Matthew Spelman – who found his son on the night of his death – that he was sorry.
Mr Wade told the room that Mr Spelman wrote to his parents: “I just could not do it anymore, I don’t want to do it anymore.
“Please don’t blame yourself, I am at peace now.”
A family statement written by his sister Claudia Spelman and read out by his mother said: “I’ll forever hold a deep admiration for Darragh’s courage.
“I admire him for every single one of the days he got himself up out of bed in the morning, every single one of the days that he buried himself in study, every single one of the days he drank to numb his emotions, every single one of the days he sought help from AA or from the GP or from talking therapies.
“I’m so proud of all of him, every little bit of him.
“And now every little bit of him sits at home in a box.
“Dust has replaced our beautiful son and brother.”
In another statement after the inquest, the family said: “Darragh Spelman lived his short life on his own terms. He was a gentle spirit who dreamed of a better world, a great leader with an intense curiosity. He was highly intelligent but a vulnerable individual.
“Everyone who had the pleasure of knowing Darragh knows that spending time in his presence would encourage you to question the world, whilst simultaneously being able to laugh at the state it’s in. His loyalty had no bounds and he explored the world with curiosity. He was obsessed with the way we live, the joy and the pain we collectively experience, and why we exist at all.
“The world we live in isn’t perfect and life is painful, but Darragh lived honestly, wholeheartedly and bravely through the pain of existence.
“In the wake of Darragh’s sudden death our family has been completely torn apart. Our search for answers has been relentless, and we have often reached dead ends in the process. The report from West Berkshire NHS Trust, the conversations with Darragh’s GP and the failures of the Police has left us lost for words and added to our grief in unfathomable and cruel ways.
“But our family will always remember Darragh for the loving son, brother, uncle, friend and extraordinary human being that he was. The world is certainly a much poorer place without him.”
Anyone seeking support can contact the following organisations:
Eight Bells for Mental Health: www.eightbellsnewbury.co.uk – call 07387 962220 – email coordinator@eightbellsnewbury.co.uk
You can visit www.recoveryinmind.org and find a number of resources to help you look after your mental health.
Mental Health Crisis Team – call if you need urgent help, but it’s not an emergency 0300 365 0300 or 0300 365 9999
Sane Line – www.sane.org.uk – call 0300 304 7000
Childline: www.childline.org.uk – 0800 1111
Mind: www.mind.org.uk – 0300 123 3393 or text 86463
The Samaritans: www.samaritans.org – call 116 123 – email jo@samaritans.org
