Signed, sealed, delivered

Postman Pat: The Movie (U)
Running time 88 minutes
Rating:***
Come half term, come the kiddie movies and this time round it’s that old favourite from Greendale, the ever-friendly, ever-popular Postman Pat, with Jess, his faithful cat.
But beware, all you innocent three and four-year-olds out there, this is Pat unlike the television version and with added sinister robots, all red eyes and gleaming teeth – so it’s behind the sofa and under the blanket for you!
Well, if you read the reviews of Postman Pat: The Movie, that’s the impression you get, another story of an unthinking film company taking a cherished character and turning it into something semi-adult and clever.
Perhaps that’s true, because the story – about which more in a moment – is quite convoluted for the average pre-schooler, and the robots are definitely scary, but then, going to the cinema and watching something scary is OK because Mum and Dad are there and nothing’s going to happen.
So maybe the critics are being a bit too soft and underestimating the ability of children to take some mental exercise.
Certainly the youngsters at Vue this week – a good number with added parents – were all enthralled, watching with wide eyes, while Mums and Dads sat down with the definite “Thank God for this break” air about them.
The story is of Pat (voiced by Stephan Mangan), desperately wanting to take wife Sara on holiday to Italy but finding the new efficiency boss at the depot, Edwin Carbuncle (Peter Woodward) has cancelled bonuses.
So Pat enters a talent contest You’re the One, staged by Simon Cowbell, where the top prize is an Italian holiday and, helped by the singing voice of Ronan Keating, he gets to the final.
Fame and celebrity descend on the nice postie and, manipulated by Carbuncle, he forgets his roots – meanwhile Carbuncle has replaced Pat with ‘Patbot’, an automated delivery person, who is not very nice. Even Jess is replaced with ‘Jessbot’ – which is totally unacceptable to any right-thinking person.
In the final, Pat is sidelined by an all-rapping, all-jiving Patbot, but is helped by Wilf (David Tennant), the scheming manager of a fellow contestant, who exposes the plot.
There is a final bust-up with the Patbots, all Greendale realises what’s been going on and – as you would hope and expect – everyone ends up happy, except Mr Carbuncle, who is an idiot.
There are some fine actors used in the production, with Rupert Grint and Jim Broadbent helping out in minor roles, giving the production a polished edge.
Directed by Mike Disa, a man with animation previous (Casper), the story rolls along nicely and certainly seemed to keep the kids interested, so perhaps the critics don’t know a thing.
Mind you, what with all the changes going on in the postal service these days, perhaps you should take a closer look at your postie next time he calls. Just look for the gleaming smile, metal teeth and red eyes…